By now, many of us know that going to therapy is a great option for dealing with particular mental health issues, getting through difficult life situations, or generally helping us toward a happier, healthier outlook on life. However, we might not realize that not all therapy is created equal. Finding the right therapist for you can help you get to the root issues that might be recurring in your life and disturbing your peace.
I have learned this in my own life: I had seen a therapist on and off since college. I struggled with generalized anxiety, exacerbated by particular life situations from time to time. This anxiety included intrusive, obsessive thought patterns and feeling anxious in friendships and relationships. I would go for a time to various therapists, but nothing ever really seemed to change.
I never really got to the root cause of what kept bringing me back to counseling over the years. I learned coping tools and skills, but never got down to the foundational issues and things I needed to work through.
In the winter of 2013, I found myself in a suddenly unstable marriage. I needed to dig deeper into my own issues to help myself resolve the dysfunctional situation I currently found myself in. As I began to recognize that I didn't want to face this alone, I joined a 12-step support group for wives who found themselves facing the same thing I was facing in my marriage. You see, I was in a relationship that wa rampant with multiple addictions.
While I knew I needed tools to help me navigate this, I also knew I needed to work on my own baggage.
Knowing I needed to do my own therapy work, I asked the women in my support group for recommendations for good therapists, and interestingly enough, several of the women went to the same therapist. It was this therapist, Mary, who helped me get to the foundational issues I was dealing with. She helped me heal and change in ways I never knew I needed, and to this day I am a better woman because of her.
Finding a good therapist often takes trial and error. It's often like dating: it takes time, and there is a period of getting to know and trust each other. You might find the right fit right away, or it might take a few different people before you find the one you "click" with.
In my own life, it was definitely a journey and process before I found someone who was the right fit for me. From that experience and talking with other friends looking for a good therapist, there are a few helpful things to keep in mind on your own search.
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