Growing up, I had a sensitive, tender little heart.
In elementary school, I struggled a bit with girls sometimes being mean or playing the games of "fair weather friendship," which I found confusing or hurtful. When it was difficult for me, my mom always provided a safe haven to come to talk about those situations and help me work through and process my feelings.
One of the things my mom told me in our heart-to-heart chats was to practice saying kind words to myself to help undo the mean, hurtful things said to me by my classmates.
I remember standing in front of the bathroom mirror and trying to say loving, positive words to my reflection. I felt a bit silly (perhaps even a little ridiculous) talking to myself in the mirror. I was also worried my brother might barge in and wonder why in the world I was talking to myself.
It was years and years before I began to believe in the power of saying loving words to myself, but today, I am grateful for these mirror exercises my mom had me practice.
I can acknowledge now how healing and restorative it is to say affirming, kind words to ourselves.
We know there is great power in the words we say to ourselves and to each other. Our spoke words have the ability to encourage and uplift, and at the same time, they can also be used to criticize, judge, or shame. Very often how we talk about other people reflects an inner reality: how we view and speak to ourselves. Sometimes when we are harsh, critical, or judgmental of other people, it reflects a deeper reality of how we feel about ourselves.
We often grow to believe what we say to ourselves, whether they are gentle and loving words or harsh and critical. While my mom had me practice saying kind things to myself all those years ago, it has only been in the last five years of my life that I radically changed my own inner dialogue by using self-affirmation statements in my daily life.
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