When a date described himself as “laid back,” I should have known what he really meant was “lazy.”  We usually think of a person being laid back as someone who is not reactionary, chill, or cool.  However, what we don’t think about is if a person is too “cool,” they also don’t want to follow any rules too!  If a person is “laid back” or “chill,” they also don’t feel as if they have to cook, clean, organize, or take care of other responsibilities too!

Photo by Hamza Bounaim on Unsplash
Be careful what you ask for, because you just might get it!  Mr. or Ms. Laid Back is nice to be when conversing or visiting new places, but you don’t want “laid back” when you have a list of tasks that need to be completed within a set limit of time.  You don’t need “laid back” when you are in a rush.  Mr. or Ms. Laid Back wants to do most things on his or her terms and who cares about what others’ think? 

When you hear a date sound like he is bragging about how laid back he or she is, ask questions and be observant.  “So what do you mean when you say you are laid back?  Do you mind giving me some examples of when you acted laid back?”  Don’t interrupt or share your personal opinion about laid back people, just sit back and listen.  You just might find out early on that your date may not be compatible with you.  Most hard workers do not describe themselves as laid back.  People who are passionate about their hobbies, jobs, children, and more don’t usually describe themselves as laid back.  Therefore, listen for clues that your date isn’t hard working, passionate about people and things that you might be or appears to care less about most things.

For many “laid back” types, they really enjoy an environment that is free of demands, schedules, and excitement.  They enjoy more times in front of screens rather than out on an adventure.  They prefer text over phone.  They like things more than people especially if they require much from them. 

Nicholl McGuire is the author of Laboring to Love an Abusive Mate, Laboring to Love Myself and other books.